| The Ant And
The Elephant |
An ant and an elephant share a night of romance. The next
morning the ant wakes up and the elephant is dead.
"Damn!" says the ant. "One night of passion and
I will spend the rest of my life digging a grave!" |
| History Of
Internet |
'In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name
of Abraham Com, did take unto himself a young wife by the name
of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and
long of leg.
Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot Com.
She said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why doth thou travel
far from town to town with thy goods when thou can trade without
ever leaving thy tent?" And Abraham did look at her as
though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but
simply said, "How, Dear?"
And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and
drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale
and they will reply telling you which hath the best price. And
the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah\'s
Pony Stable (UPS)."
Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way
with the drums. The drums rang out and were an immediate success.
Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without
ever moving from his tent. But this success did arouse envy.
A man named Maccabia did secret himself inside Abraham\'s drum
and was accused of insider trading. And the young man did take
to Dot Com\'s trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel
dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican
Siderites, or NERDS for short.
And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches
and the deafening sound of drums, that no one noticed that the
real riches were going to the drum maker, one Brother William
of Gates, who bought up every drum company in the land. And
indeed did insist on making drums that would work only with
Brother Gates\' drumheads and drumsticks.
Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being
taken over by others." And as Abraham looked out over the
Bay of Ezekiel, or as it came to be known "eBay" he
said, "we need a name that reflects what we are,"
and Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators."
"YAHOO", said Abraham. And that is how it all began,
It wasn\'t Al Gore after all. |
| Cat On The
Roof |
'A man left his cat with his brother while he went on vacation
for a week. When he came back, he called his brother to see
when he could pick the cat up. The brother hesitated, then said,
"I\'m so sorry, but while you were away, the cat died."
The man was very upset and yelled, "You know, you could
have broken the news to me better than that. When I called today,
you could have said he was on the roof and wouldn\'t come down.
Then when I called the next day, you could have said that he
had fallen off and the vet was working on patching him up. Then
when I called the third day, you could have said he had passed
away."
The brother thought about it and apologized.
"So how\'s Mom?" asked the man.
"She\'s on the roof and won\'t come down." |
| Minister for
drinks |
'A southern minister was completing a temperance sermon. With
great expression, he said, "If I had all the beer in the
world, I\'d take it and pour it into the river."
With even greater emphasis, he said, "And if I had all
the wine in the world, I\'d take it and pour it into the river."
And finally, he cried, "And if I had all the whiskey in
the world, I\'d take it and pour it into the river." Sermon
complete, he then sat down.
After a few moments, the song leader stood very cautiously and
announced with a smile, "For our closing song, let us sing
Hymn #365: \'Shall We Gather at the River\'." |
|
Cool Links 
Channels 
